It’s been a while since I wrote. Times go so fast and it’s already the last day of 2023.
I honestly don’t think I had many memories of this year. However, I do feel that I am getting better and learning more from things. So far I guess the biggest memory for this year would be coming to the UK for my exchange. The days here not only made me understand more about the country and meet more people, but also made me change myself in better ways.
As we are about to start the new year, I would like to share my wish for 2024.
1. Get a job
Being an international student means that I need to pay extra for my tuition. My parents had already spent too much money on me, and oftentimes, I felt guilty that I didn’t work when I had so much free time. I don’t think it is an excuse for me not to work as a student and I should be more responsible for myself. I want to make my parents proud as well although Asian parents are quite hard to satisfy.
It would be more satisfying to buy something with your own money. I look forward to working when I get back to Sydney.
2. Make myself look good
One of the first things I do when I return to Sydney is to get a haircut. I think I am done with having long hair, and I want to try having short hair again. I feel like I have never been taking care of my looks (which is potentially why I am still single) so I want to make myself look better next year. I want to make myself look good not only with my looks but also with the way I present myself and my behaviour.
I had thought of hitting the gym but I don’t think it is possible for me for now and I am training three times a week already. However, I believe this is not the only way to progress. There are alternatives. Maybe I can start something similar to the pushup challenge again.
3. Read more books and know more people
I wish for this because I feel like I play too many video games at home and barely go out. I think it would be better if I could start reading to learn more things. I have read some books this year but not much so I hope that I can find ways to love reading and develop a good habit. But ultimately, I am looking for learning opportunities so I
I also found myself pretty quiet whenever I met someone new. I don’t think I am shy. I just couldn’t find topics to talk about with strangers, and I am not sure if the things I am talking about would be interesting. I guess I should not worry too much and just talk more with people. This also shows me that I lack confidence and I believe the only way to get more confidence is to talk more to people.
It is crucial to know more people as well as someone who is planning to work in the music industry in the future. I wish I can get more chance to talk with more people and boost my confidence.
4. Focusing on the present moment instead of worrying too much about the future and surroundings
Finding peace is what I lack this year and I hope to get more next year. Self-doubting has been driving me crazy, making me procrastinate and burn out for a long time in many ways. Until lately I have finally truly understood that all these negative thoughts and emotions are generated within myself. And the reason for that is that I barely focus on the present moment. I just worried too much and it made me stop moving on.
Finding peace also made me know more about myself. A lot of times, I lied to myself that I was fine. This made me feel bad but I could not tell why I was depressed. So this year I hope to be more honest to myself through finding peace.
As a Christian, the way to peace is to rest in God and leave all the worries to him. After all, I cannot handle everything. I pray for god that he is always with me every day and shapes me in the way he wants. It might be different from what I think but God always has better plans.